man walking up stairs

Now That I’m Found, What Do I Do? The Fight For Closeness

Our last post included the challenge to ask yourself, in the fight for closeness, ‘Why am I hiding?’

I trust you asked yourself that question and arrived at an honest answer.

If you did, you’ve started on a journey that will help lead you to genuine, normal, enjoyable connections.

And you may be asking, what next?

That question and its answer likely uncovered a truth about you. It made you come face to face with whatever it is that makes you hide from intimacy. Now that you know what makes you fear or avoid closeness, you can begin to do something about it.

Practical Step #2 in the Fight For Closeness

When I first discovered that I was a disconnected man, I had no idea what to do. I cried out to the Lord over and over, ‘What is wrong with me?’ The answer was clear, I had no real deep personal connections with anyone, which meant that I didn’t have an intimate connection with my Father in heaven. Hiding from intimacy, I didn’t know who I was, and it felt uncomfortable, so I avoided it. I had to learn that avoidance was not acceptable. I had to learn how to connect.

So, the next step I took was to be completely transparent with God and told him I was not comfortable with intimacy. I confessed my sin of disconnection. What I mean is that I confessed my sin of keeping Him and all others out of the most tender parts of my heart. I confessed having built an impenetrable wall so I could stay safe — Safe from emotion, safe from relationships, safe from discovery.

Confession is practical step number two. Confession is the evidence that your heart has opened the door to humility. Humility is a necessary quality for learning intimacy.

Whatever the cause of your disconnection, confession to God is the necessary next step to dealing with it.

When I confessed, I felt a new freedom. I knew God forgave me. I never had a doubt he would. He will forgive you as well. In my new freedom, I had the ability to take step after step toward intimacy and connection. Steps we will discuss in future posts. For now, suffice it to say, my life became increasingly intimate and relational, and I began loving it.

I urge you to take this next step. Spend quiet time with the Lord and talk to Him. It’s not magic, but it might be difficult. It’s a conversation with a person you’ve wronged, and those conversations are tough. Some of us have avoided ever having a conversation with someone we’ve wronged or offended. This is one you shouldn’t avoid. Take time before reading our next post to have that conversation. God is infinitely gracious. Trust Him to listen, love, and guide you.

Practical Step #3 depends on it. Stay tuned for more, or check out my book, The Disconnected Man for more practical steps to reconnect.